I Take Responsibility

I take responsibility.

I cannot change my bench test. Its in the past. My max did not go up and that is something I cannot change.

But in 90 days I will have another. I take responsibility for that test. I made a plan to do push ups twice a day, everyday, until then. And less than 2 weeks later, I’m already noticeably better.

I take responsibility.

I cannot change my weigh-in. It’s in the past. My weight went up and my lean mass went down. My emotional eating the weeks leading into that day resulted in numbers I do not like and that is something I cannot change.

But in 90 days I’ll have another. I take responsibility for that weigh-in. I determined to recommit to the meal plan that so effectively transformed my body the first 6 months. And with each mistake, I pick myself up and go again. I choose to break the unhealthy habit of berating myself for each small imperfection and then using it as an excuse to continue making poor choices.

I take responsibility.

I cannot run with my friends. The only reason I have any desire to run is to do so with others but four months of not running mean I cannot keep pace or distance with my friends I must run alone.

But until I run alone, I will never catch back up with my friends. I take responsibility for my running. 4 weeks of saying “I’ll start tomorrow…” are over and I am back on the track for my non-training days. In just 3 runs, I am already running a mile in under 9 minutes and my longest run so far is 1.25 miles. More speed and distance will come with practice.

I take responsibility.

I cannot change my circumstances. But I can change my attitude and choices. I can choose to focus on either one. Focusing on my circumstances perpetuate of feeling of hopelessness and irresponsibility. Focusing on my attitude and choices restores my confidence in the future because, in doing so, I take back control.

I am NOT a victim of my circumstances. I am a victim of my own choices. For better or worse, who I am today is based on the choices I made yesterday. This can be a great weight of guilt and shame or the source of gratitude and anticipation.

I choose the latter. I choose to look forward. I choose to take responsibility. And in doing so, I take back my life.

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